I want to stick my p in your. b.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
