do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
