Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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