Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
