College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
