I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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