she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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