cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
