Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
