google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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