Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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