I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it glows. i had to have it.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize