Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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