isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
