If i come over, it means nothing
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize