I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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