dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
