So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
