3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
