You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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