Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize