dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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