Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize