Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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