Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
