Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
