i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
