I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
