Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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