Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i just had sex bonerless
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
