You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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