there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
