i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
so let's talk penis.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
