No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
