they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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