Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
