porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
