I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
