Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize