just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
