She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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