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he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
