My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize