Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
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