Please, let me fuck your mom
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize