doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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