Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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