So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize