Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
i think my cat just said my name.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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