if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
