Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
