dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
