You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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