I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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