The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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