would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
