This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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