i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
a search helicopter?!
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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