All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
