He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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